Why are my lips getting bigger?

Oh dear, I was trying to find the outside of my lips the other day and realised that they appeared to be all over the place, rather like someone who had been sucking a raspberry icelolly: I have been experimenting with lip colour,lip balm and lip gloss!

Here are my results:

Clarins Colour Quench Lip Balm Long-Lasting Moisture & Shine 15ml

Clarins Colour Quench Lip Balm Long-Lasting Moisture & Shine 15ml

£12:45ish in the sale on line with free delivery

I just put this onto my lips and squeezed the tube. Not good! Firstly it is a bit strange having a piece of plastic with a hole in it squashed on your lips and trying to draw a line of gloss over your lips. Too much comes out and then you have to press your upper lip over the lower to use the excess up and THEN you have it ALL OVER………….. GREAT BIG SHINY LIPS!………….. Much bigger lips than I am used to!………………… VERY GLOSSY Polymer? lips………………………. Not sure I want to have that WET look!

You are actually meant to use it with a lip brush (which I have) However, what do I squeeze it into? Too messy! It is meant to go OVER your lipstick and you can just put it in the MIDDLE of your lips, for a luminous touch? Oh well, I prefer my good old fashioned lip gloss from Clinique which comes in a tube like a mascara and has a brush, so you can aim at your lips. I have been using them for years. NEXT……….

Clarins Joli Rouge Lipstick 3.5g

Clarins Joli Rouge Lipstick 3.5g

£14:45 in the sale
I am addicted to the smell of this lipstick BUT……….it has a core of colour and the outsides are clear and glossy. I think this is a technique we used to use to make our lips look more voluptuous in days of yore, probably from the beauty page of Woman’s Own. It is nigh on impossible to get the stain part on the outsides of your lips. I ended up with it all over my chin! Not for me as a lipstick;  I keep it in my handbag because I just love the actual metal casing and how it opens up and then you get the SMELL of blackcurrant.
NEXT…………….and this is perfect…………… Note…………… THE BRUSH……………

Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Pur Couture Vernis À Lèvres Glossy Stain 6ml

Yves Saint Laurent Rouge Pur Couture Vernis À Lèvres Glossy Stain 6ml

£19.13 FREE Delivery

All I can say is, this is as good as my old usual: I draw a line with my lip pencil, add my Clinique stubby crayon lip stain and then gloss over………fait accompli……..tres bien……..ausgeseichtnicht……estupendous. I really like Clinique’s lip liner as it is retractable and there is no sharpening and like wise with their crayon lip stains but this is equal to all those in one brush. Well done YSL
 Big warning though:  you MUST use lip liner, as the stain is quite strong and I kept missing the edges of my lips and went over; I now have no idea where my real lips end and it is VERY difficult to get the stain off…………………the red icelolly look or the ‘why have you drawn around your lips in permanent markerpen’ look? ? ?
Also it does dry your lips out quite a bit! (Blimey,talked my way out of buying that one again! Stick to what works for you? ) Actually I think this one is good with a touch of gloss on top or balm so your lips don’t feel dry and have that SET feel! I get fed up of leaving my lip gloss all over my tea cup. I used to do that two application job with lipstick; you put one coat on and then blot it with a tissue between your lips and then apply another coat so it lasts longer?
Must go as this has taken me over an hour and my hips have set.


  1. I really enjoy your writing style and your jokes always make me laugh. I also like that you’re a sucker for ‘pretty’ packaging, Ican really relate to that! I can definitely see where Ruth get her writing talent from!

    I wish you the best of luck with further posts.

    With love Chloë

  2. So much truth in your post…especially regarding the challenge posed by Joli Rouge. Hilarious! May I suggest using the YSL Glossy Stain with the Dior Universal Contour for greater certainty in application? Nevertheless, it’s a pleasure to read you.

  3. Love the Clarins Jolie lipstick named after the woman with ‘those lips’ probably I don’t get on with lip stains myself I know what u mean about the sucking a raspberry lolly look

  4. Haha, you’re hysterical. I do have that gloss on the top there, it is so sticky :< That's why gloss is so useless for me – because my bangs get stuck in the sticky mess and it's awful :<

  5. Chris, I just discovered you through Ruth’s site and have enjoyed reading all your blog posts and have read out the funniest bits to my man who thinks yours is the best blog I read!! Keep it up, you really are a breath of fresh air, and a delight to ‘spend time with’.
    Rita from NZ

  6. Hahah! excellent post! I have some of the YSL Glossy Stains and I felt the same way as you, then I read that you are meant to put one coat on, let it dry, then another, and if you want a really glossy look then go for a third. It made a huge difference for me!

    1. didn’t you end up with HUGE sticky lips which stuck to the tea-cup? I am not doing very well at this. If you read Ruth’s November favourites I WAS ON IT and you will notice that I have given up on the GLOSSY look.

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